Honor Your Father and Your Mother - by Stephen Blankenship
Verse of the Month Scripture Reference: Deuteronomy 5:16
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
— Deuteronomy 5:16 (ESV)
At first glance, Deuteronomy 5:16 may seem like a simple directive to obey and respect our parents. It’s familiar—one of the Ten Commandments repeated from Exodus. But when we look deeper, this commandment reveals something profound about how we relate not only to our earthly parents but also to our Heavenly Father.
A Command with a Promise
This command is one of the few in Scripture that comes with a promise: “that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you.” This isn’t just about personal blessing—it’s about communal flourishing. In ancient Israel, honoring parents was key to a stable, God-honoring society. It preserved generational wisdom and passed down the knowledge of our faith. But more than that, honoring parents taught something eternal—it taught how to honor God.
The Family as a Reflection of Heaven
God designed the family to reflect His own nature and relationship with His people. Parents are the first authority figures we encounter, and how we respond to them shapes how we respond to God. When we learn to submit to our parents' guidance, even when we don’t fully understand it, we are being prepared to trust in the Lord’s leadership.
To honor father and mother isn’t merely cultural—it’s theological. In honoring those who gave us life, we practice what it means to honor the One who gave us all life. As we recognize the authority, care, and love of our parents (even imperfectly), we are trained to recognize the perfect authority, care, and love of our Heavenly Father.
Honor Is About More Than Obedience
The Hebrew word for “honor” (kabed) means “to give weight to,” or “to treat as significant.” This isn’t just about doing what your parents say—it’s about valuing them, giving them dignity, and recognizing the role God gave them in your life. In the same way, honoring God means treating Him as weighty—significant in every part of life, not just in name or ritual.
So when God commands us to honor our parents, He is training our hearts to give weight to His own voice, to treat Him as holy, and to submit to His authority with trust and reverence.
When Parents Are Flawed
What if our parents weren’t honorable? What if they were absent, abusive, or failed us in significant ways?
God never asks us to ignore pain or pretend brokenness didn’t happen. But the command to honor still stands—not as a call to blind obedience, but as a call to forgiveness, grace, and even healthy boundaries when needed. Honoring doesn’t mean enabling sin; it means responding in a God-honoring way. And in those moments, we can look to God as the perfect Father—always faithful, always good.
A Practice of Worship
Honoring our father and mother isn’t just a moral duty—it’s a spiritual discipline, a practice of humility, gratitude, and ultimately worship. In doing so, we not only fulfill a command, but we also live in a way that reflects our relationship with our true Father in Heaven.
So the next time you consider what it means to honor your parents—whether it’s a word of thanks, an act of care, or even a step toward reconciliation—remember this: You are honoring the God who gave you life, who parents you with perfect love, and who desires to bless you with a life that truly goes well.
Although not exhaustive, below are ten ways we can honor our Father and Mother:
1. Speak to Them with Respect
Our words are powerful. Even when we disagree with our parents, we can choose words that are respectful, not harsh or dismissive. Honor means being mindful of our tone, our body language, and how we talk about our parents to others.
Honor begins with how we speak—in both private and public.
2. Obey Them (When Under Their Authority)
For children and teenagers, honoring parents starts with obedience—responding to their guidance and respecting their rules. God places parents in a position of authority, and obedience is one of the earliest ways we learn how to submit to God’s greater authority.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1)
3. Listen to Their Wisdom
Even as adults, we can show honor by listening to our parents’ experiences and perspectives. We may not always follow their advice, but giving them the dignity of listening shows respect and humility.
We honor them by recognizing their role and wisdom—even when we’ve grown.
4. Express Gratitude
When’s the last time you thanked your parents? A simple “thank you” can carry enormous weight. Expressing gratitude for what they’ve done—whether big sacrifices or everyday care—demonstrates honor.
Gratitude is a form of remembrance. It says, “You matter. You’ve made a difference.”
5. Care for Them in Their Old Age
As our parents age, roles shift. The ones who once cared for us may now need our care. Honoring them means being present, meeting practical needs, and ensuring they are not forgotten.
Jesus rebuked people for avoiding this responsibility (Mark 7:10–13). To God, it’s a sacred trust.
6. Set Healthy Boundaries with Grace
Not all family relationships are healthy. If your parents were abusive, neglectful, or continue to harm, honoring them does not mean enabling or tolerating sin. It may mean setting boundaries, speaking the truth in love, and refusing to return evil for evil.
Honoring is not the same as obeying or trusting. You can honor with grace and truth—even at a distance.
7. Pray for Them
Lift your parents up to God regularly. Prayer is a deeply honoring act—especially if your relationship is strained. It keeps your heart soft and opens the door for healing.
Whether your parents know God or not, they need your prayers more than your criticism.
8. Include Them in Your Life
Many parents, especially as they grow older, long to know they still matter. A phone call, a visit, or involving them in family decisions are small gestures with great impact.
Honor means inclusion, not isolation.
9. Forgive Their Failures
Every parent is flawed. Some have failed deeply. But holding onto bitterness only poisons your soul. Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation, but it sets you free—and honors God.
Honoring your parents might begin with choosing grace over resentment.
10. Honor Is a Lifestyle of Worship
To honor your father and mother is ultimately about learning to honor God. Our earthly parents—whether they were loving or difficult—are part of the story God used to bring us into the world. When we honor them, we reflect God’s character and obey His Word.
It’s not always easy. But it is always holy.
And when we live this way, Scripture says our lives will go well—not just in years, but in depth, peace, and legacy.
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
— Deuteronomy 5:16 (ESV)
At Glory Fellowship Deuteronomy 5:16 is our corporate scripture memory verse of the month.
This has been a Verse of the Month (VOM) QuickTake. #vomquicktake #vom #foroursake